Call me Herm. Yeah, I died in 1891, but, thanks to my new wireless card, am able to blog now.

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I am an American author, best-known for my novels of the sea and my masterpiece MOBY-DICK (1851), a whaling adventure dedicated to Nathaniel Hawthorne. "I have written a wicked book and feel as spotless as the lamb," I wrote to Hawthorne. The work was only recognized as a masterpiece 30 years after my death. TYPEE (1846), a fictionalized travel narrative, was my most popular book during my lifetime. As noted above, I currently am deceased. Recently, however, we got wireless.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Death: Not As Bad As You'd Think

A number of you have asked me what heaven is like. I guess it was on my mind too when I was where you are. I mentioned heaven thirty-nine times in ’Dick.

I can tell you that it looks remarkably like the city of Providence, Rhode Island, with better public transportation. Perhaps therein lies, somehow, the derivation of "providence." The thing that surprised me the most: the Popeye's Fried Chicken chain has several restaurants here.

Beyond that, I really shouldn't tell you. My doing so would be a bit like a man revealing to a woman what really goes on at bachelor parties.

Have a pleasant evening.

P.S. Remind me to tell you about Hawthorne's stag night one of these days.


Anonymous Beau Jangles said...

Now that you're dead, do you still write?

10:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Mel,

My girlfriend read THE LOVELY BONES, where she said heaven is like a nifty hotel with room service.

This has me worried. Is room service like the Hyatt? Or, is it like a tacky Days Inn, where they have a continental breakfast in the lobby?

Thank you for your reply.

5:58 PM  
Anonymous Bonk said...

Did Hawthorne a girl with a scarlet S for STRIPPER?

5:47 AM  
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7:50 PM  

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