Herman-Melville

Call me Herm. Yeah, I died in 1891, but, thanks to my new wireless card, am able to blog now.

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I am an American author, best-known for my novels of the sea and my masterpiece MOBY-DICK (1851), a whaling adventure dedicated to Nathaniel Hawthorne. "I have written a wicked book and feel as spotless as the lamb," I wrote to Hawthorne. The work was only recognized as a masterpiece 30 years after my death. TYPEE (1846), a fictionalized travel narrative, was my most popular book during my lifetime. As noted above, I currently am deceased. Recently, however, we got wireless.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Bills Mounting, I Take A Job

Not long before I died, in 1891, I let some storage space in a facility in the West 20s in New York City. Shipmates, some advice: If you start a blog 100-or-so years after your demise, do so, like everyone else, under a pseudonym. Why? Otherwise your creditors will come after you.

Owing 1380 months of storage space rental—and the current monthly rate is about twice the value of my estate—I was forced to scour the Help Wanteds. Luckily I've found employment. I began the other day a freelance, telecommunting basis (it's difficult for me to go to the office as I no longer have a body) with a mid-sized advertisting agency, the client a pet food manufacturer.

The boss tells me writing an ad is just like a novel—a compelling story with a beginning, middle and end—except instead of a character, your hero is a car or packaged good.

Shipmates, meet my new hero:
I just need a headline now, and would be glad of any assistance, shipmates. All I've come up with so far is CALL ME FISHMEAL. Have a feeling I've heard that somewhere before though.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

When the need to think outside the box (or whaling ship) may occur, I recommend consulting Bartleby the Scrivener.
Best,
Bart King
www.bartking.net

9:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please tell us about Hawthorne's Stag Night one of these days?

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about: "Nutrahab: When You Obsess About Your Fish"

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's another one:

Melville's Pacific Flakes:
Sundried Typee for
Omoos, Redburns, and White-Jackets

EC

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Herman!

I'm waiting; tell me about Hawthorne's Stag Night.

Elizabeth S.

6:06 AM  
Blogger Herm Melville said...

Anonymous, I think "When You Obsess About Your Fish" could get me an office with a view. Thanks, shipmate.

6:57 PM  
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7:48 PM  

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